Petition to Have
the Moon Put Back

For use when Earth’s satellite is technically present but plainly not where you left it. Complete in black ink. Do not submit during a meteor shower.

Case no. L6–____________ Jurisdiction: Lower Atmosphere / Misc.

Part I — Nature of the alleged misplacement

Too far to the left. Reduced to an alarming sliver. Behind the laundromat again. Present at an unreasonable hour. Full without adequate notice. Otherwise celestial and uncooperative.

Part II — Statement of facts as dimly observed

Approximate time first considered suspicious Weather, if implicated

Describe where the Moon was, where it ought to have been, and who gave it permission

Part III — Remedy requested

Return to previous location. Restore missing portion. Explain the tides in writing. No action sought; I merely want this entered into the record.

I certify, under the faint but adequate light available, that the foregoing complaint is sincerely held. I understand that parallax, cloud cover, orbital mechanics, and standing in a different place may affect my claim without making me feel any less correct.

Clerk’s instructions: Press once to file locally. No form contents are transmitted. The Moon may continue moving during review. Estimated processing time: 27.3 days, repeatedly.

Received
Without Effect

Petition to Havethe Moon Put Back

Petition to Have
the Moon Put Back